Monday, 8 August 2016

Saffron Walden Gallery

Cambridge Scenes & Nostalgic Cornwall

Susan Isaac - Cambridge Scenes

Capturing the raw beauty of architecture & design, Susan Isaac brings a timeless quality with a true essence of the place to her oil paintings

Above painting, 'St John's College from Trinity Street' recently won a
Windsor & Newton award, artist quote below.

 'When I chose the viewpoint for this work, I was partly drawn to the architectural majesty of St John's College with its castellated Tudor Great Gate, contrasting with stone buildings to left and right. However, my eye was particularly caught by the all-pervading bicycles corralled in groups along the broad pavement ahead of me, with the fine spokes of the bicycle wheels echoing the crisscrossing of winter branches that lace a late afternoon sky. A lowering sun sends a shaft of Indian yellow into the centre of the painting, which, along with the line of the kerb helps to draw the eye in and along the curve of Trinity Street.'


Susan Isaac Paintings

David Axtell - Nostalgic Cornish Summers

David Axtell's oil paintings have the ability to transport one back to the long lost summers of yesteryear, capturing the innocence, magic & freedom
of Cornish holidays 


David Axtell Paintings
Copyright © 2016 The Saffron Walden Gallery, All rights reserved.

Wednesday, 6 July 2016

Scorchio!




Scorchio! Paula Fisch 
Fast showing : Sitta que esto umbro umbro Scrometti skitty skitty notch notch. Botox!



Friday, 1 July 2016

Coldplay up and up




GET IT TOGETHER...unlike the England Football Team.

Never give up on hope...somehow. Who's got the answers, singing in the rain, put two and two together, ignoring others pain, living in a high rise, sleeping on the floor, who's mowing the meadow, listen to woeful echoes, tell it to a clown, who wears the crown, arise with impunity, cut down with scrutiny, receive what you give, put money in a sieve, put back what you take, eat from an austerity plate, drive a fast car, get drunk in a bar, reflect on a mirror, see a hollow cheer, slow down your thoughts, appeal in the courts, drown in others sorrows, pour holes in tomorrows, revolt for insanity, rebel for solidarity, vote for self-determination, deal with consternation, steal from the poor, exit through a fire door, race for banality, divide by personality, share what you gain, keep what you've got, accept more of the same, stand up for a moment, see a nation broken, buy the same token, fall to the moon, dig in with a spoon, push and pull, on and on...up & up

Thursday, 30 June 2016

Don't count your chickens before they hatch



DAYDREAMING : READ THIS AND WONDER how we got thus far...and in Cornwall

800,000 potential voters...couldn't register on their household iphones. Democracy at work.

There was a man from Kettering
Who spelt his name in bad lettering
He looked to the sky
formed an opinionated lie
and now he's formed a new ministry




BURN THE WITCH : WATCH THIS IF YOU ENJOY BRITISH SATIRE (Trumpland)

700,000 expats not allowed to vote. (Ironically you lose your vote if you leave Britain...democracy at work)

Don't panic Mr Mannering! 
Callous humour would have been the same if we'd remained : Laughing in the aisle by John Oliver
'Allo! 'Allo! govt now about to repeal the 1972 treaty of Accession - next Denmark and Italy. I bet just as were about to finish negotiating our way through the EU in seven years time the EU won't actually exist in it's current format...it'll reform to survive without us. At least we have the 2017 Presidency of the EU Council to look forward to. (July-December...maybe Estonia will have a go)

Stop press : A Nation with courage stays loyal to it's friends in times of trouble
Conservatives will disregard the Scottish votes...? Their mandate comes from the rest of the UK and not from the SNP. Take the Scottish remain votes from the total 16,141,241 - 1,661,191 = 14,480,050 and the same for Leave 17,410,742 - 1,018,332 = 16,393,410. That's a leave vote at nearly 2million or 6% majority. More or less the same percentage of Labour MP's who want Jeremy Corbyn as their leader.

Forwards : United Europe vote for unity, vote for community not disunity
Strategically important country with high levels of world influence and a fragile emerging post recession economy...rallies together in solidarity and joins Europe. (1973)
Backwards
Strategically important country with high levels of world influence and a fragile emerging post recession economy....rips itself apart and exits Europe. (2016)

Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Donald Tusk

TUSK : Just say you want me...to be your friend
Meeting today of the EUCO on Brexit and Common EU27 future...



Why don't you ask him if he's going to stay?
Why don't you ask him if he's going away?
Why don't you tell me what's going on?
Why don't you tell me who's on the phone?
Why don't you ask him what's going on?
Why don't you ask him who's the latest on his throne?
Don't say that you love me!
Just tell me that you want me!
TUSK!
Just say you want me
Just tell me that you
TUSK!
TUSK!
TUSK!

THE BRITISH REVOLT : The protest vote...
You know in Australia they have referendums on daylight saving times or vote on how long a Parliamentary term should last...some European countries even have votes on specific issues on EU treaties. Our referendum was a bit different. We have one on Europe every 40 years. Thankfully no-one had to make an easy black or white decision. It was mostly ambivalence mixed with resentment.

weownit.org.uk
CONTROL? You asked for control and that is what were going to get when a new right wing Tory govt forms. Voted inadvertently in by the protest leave vote (not by the working classes cos their conviction is with labour) No irony in that statement. Now who's playing hardball when we've still got years of austerity and the continued saga of selling off public assets? Stripping out the core out of our future and selling The Land Registry, National Air Traffic Services, Ordnance Survey and Local Councils to sell off council houses..social housing bulldozed away to the private sector. And to think we held a referendum on this cos it was the EU's fault that were making us do it!?

Back peddling predilection.
Russia buys Ordnance Survey so that it knows where the best places are to park their tanks.

By the popular vote : BHS makes a comeback
When the lunatics have taken over the asylum = care in the community

Rogue Nation : Britain's Transition...
It's a Roll over. This Wednesdays THUNDERBALL & you just won a remake of Never Say Never Again!

DEMOCRACY INACTION literally...what a lacklustre performance 
Not to be confused with irony. George Osborne (sold) cashed in his shares when the markets were high and he made £1.6trillion when world markets fell. Thus paying off our national debt over the weekend.

Bank on it : Low and behold
£250billion War Chest is used to bail out the deficit of £75 billion. Thus ending public sector debt. Books are balanced and the NHS receives a £10billion bonus voucher.

Article 49 : the loophole to re-apply. Wonder which EU leader would close that..I don't know what it means for Denmark, the Netherlands, Sweden or France.
Now that Labour is flogging itself like a dead horse or a dead duck that's still being fed bread (which is bad for ducks by the way) The Conservatives will split into two camps - those that want to be seen to be pro European convincing the sceptics and those wanting to be British and economical with the truth. Nay. quack quack!

Things to look forward to...in Kernow 
Cornish roads now will not be built to a standardized EU directive width. Hedges will not be cut to EU regulated height. #that's it for the farmers

There's only one thing to look forward to in 2019...it's not headline news leaving the EU.
It's INDIANA JONES V

The real reason people got scared of the EU : The EU symbol on GB car number plates
This was scary as it allowed you to travel freely throughout the EU
It reminded UK people that they were European citizens
It didn't have red or white in it
It reminded BMW owners that they lacked true status
It reminded Skoda, VW, Audi and SEAT owners that they would NOT get compensation like the Americans for the dieselgate disaster - that was 1.2million leave votes right there.

PLOUGH YOUR OWN FURROW : Shipshape
When we get ready to set sail...which course of action do we take?
i we continue to pay harbour fees
ii we set sail for new horizons and get seasick
iii we set sail and get homesick
iv we set sail and someone forgets the compass
v we set sail into the doldrums
vi we set sail and drop anchor in booby's bay because it sounds funny and we needed a holiday

The snap election : Wow I love democracy. I keep having to vote. I thought it was once every five years.
Bets on that the new mandate from a new PM becomes a half way house for the general public. A second referendum is called. The new 'coalition' government of the willing receive a vote of confidence. No-one will have a majority (much like this Conservative now) But we still get the govt we deserve. Blah blah blah

Less we forget crossrail.co.uk it's going to look amazing in 2018 and will be used as a prime example of British engineering prowess by the new PM. (He or she takes credit)
Never in a million years...
10/1 Nicola Sturgeon derails Brexit...don't you just love the Scots
It's also called the luck of the Irish
Lets just not bother invoking Article 50 it's a bio hazard. Ignore it.
We simply re-apply through Article 49.
There's a new treaty banning Article 49.
We get pummelled like Greece did or...
We buy Greece as part of the deal. It ends up in the British Museum
We woke up and then we rewrote the rule book.
They don't call us the mother of all democracy for nothing. What a bitch
The Conservatives always want to win on the economy. True or false?
The UK reforms itself away from the corporate monolithic behemoth
The UK becomes a corporate monolithic behemoth
We win the sympathy vote.
There isn't a mass exodus of countries from the Union..I mean the UK (two hold a Brexit veto)
London becomes newly Independent
Renting in London becomes cheap
Hipster Beards become unfashionable.
The Govt creates a new Tenancy bill based on the French system. You get the best tenancy protection laws in the world.
Banks collapse in Italy and Spain...we loan them £25billion each from the war chest. We become best mates & part own each country.
European holidaymakers will go on a foreign holiday to Britain & enjoy our sense of humour at last.
Politicians apologize for making decisions and predictions on a trampoline...
when there was no safety net.

Which way now? 
TV saves the day. There's a new series of the Trip taking place in Spain.


“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow
Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead
Walk beside me… just be my friend” 
― Albert Camus


Saturday, 25 June 2016

Brexit

The real reason Remain won pundits : From two pragmatic British EU citizens...




Bitesize Brexit : Never believe the hype WTF ?! Thank god the Referendum is non binding
"Where there is harmony, let us bring discord. Where there is truth, may we bring error. Where there is faith, let us bring doubt. Where there is hope, let us bring despair" Whoops.

Under new management : pdf now downloadable for all the brit boys and girls  cer.org.uk
The Seven alternatives...to EU membership. Take your pick Boris. Woe betide your new mandate. You is out laddie and Europe is looking to it's future not ours?! Unbelievable. You still have EU migration (free movement of people) as part of any trade deal & you still have to pay into an EU budget and abide by EU rules/laws. And you'll have no say in the matter ?!!! Misinformed, misled & missed opportunities. Someone should be held to account for this...

Airfix : buy buy. All euro finance centers do not move from London to the Continent true or false?
We are now re-building Spitfires but like the Red Arrows no one is allowed to fly on health and safety grounds.

CFP (Common fisheries policy) or WTO. Can a fish out of water negotiate better ?
We didn't bother listening to the experts but we'll soon be paying high commissions to experts telling us what the best non-negotiable negotiations to trade will be like.

Back in control with a tiny 4% margin of a majority...and taxes will not go up
VAT will go now to zero on all electric and gas bills. It can now go lower than the 15% the EU zone were going to re-negotiate on. Wow all our senior citizens winter fuel payments will be sooooo low this coming winter and is uncertainty good for pensions?

We have drawn a line in the sand - only the tide keeps coming in and washing it away. I blame King Canute
Goodbye Scotland...Northern Ireland...Gibraltar...sod it lets sell off the Falklands too. Something the new Prime Minister can look forward to. What a legacy. Not the United Kingdom. Where's the greatness in that?

Diffendoofer day!
1,000,000 immigrants will arrive back in England. Yep you guessed it - British nationals who moved to Spain. You is no different.

Strange little Island of mixed up people
FCUK UP : Only us Brits can vote in Tory's that first wrecked our manufacturing base and let down the working classes, with a Labour Europhile PM that took us into illegal wars and an arrogant Tory Prime Minister gambling on breaking up unions just to appease his party. Well done...us. We've divided ourselves and the world in one fell swoop. Back to the Future with this one.

Centre for learning : And I've even been to the Bullingdon club..I mean bar. thebullingdon.co.uk
The Erasmus programme is null and void?! Less you know the better. That's because we just screwed the future education of our youth..?! You now can't live and work anywhere in the EU and get NHS paid treatment across borders or even retire in Spain with full benefits.

Ageist : over 65's were more likely to vote leave true or false?
If you were under 45 and voted in because you thought about the future...in 20 years you probably will not want to sell your parents cheap housing to pay for their expensive care. You'll be the ones paying for this OUT debacle. Bank it. Give them an OD. It's gonna be payback time. I'm going on a cruise.

When all people have lived with too much deceit - the working protest vote will endeth the future of representative democracy and kick out the jams
Fiscal studies : The facts that were hidden cos I wasn't reading the smallprint
Do you think George Osborne's £9billion pound a month borrowing spree stops...instantly. He now uses £350million a week to pay for our deficit. Sod the NHS...it'll go back into an EU budget as part of our use of the single market so said the leavers. Oddly ironic.

We don't want to understand what immigration and free movement is. 
Free movement of a Labour force ends. That is what the Brexit peeps wanted isn't it? And forget all those 'benefit' reforms Cameron fought to get earlier in the year. You think the EU will endorse those on their Labour force?

Political narcissism : Yep the proportional representation of countries under the Lisbon treaty were never quite progressive enough for Cameron. 
Trump in Scotland : In a country who voted to stay in the EU ? Scotland has a right to a second independence referendum

Cornwall & the new spaceport (not subsidised by the EU)
Net beneficiary to EU subsidies votes out. Dairy farmers go to the wall. The conservatives loathe farm subsidies. Still at least I can chuck a line out and catch haddock now. We have experts on hand to tell us where the fish swim. And I only buy arctic white fish anyway.

Cloud cuckoo land : The Gold Standard
Austerity stops now. Way before Article 50 is invoked because the Leavers need weeks, months, no years of re-negotiations of regulations. Adding to more bureaucracy ?

The EUMAN cost : Federalism or bust. Well now were out Germany can push for it.
It was like Germany v England (well a divided British nation) We may have lost on penalties or was it an own goal? Anyway, we want a replay, with new rules! We will now get the help of the USA to be the new oversee chairman. To win people over to TTIP and they've now got us by the balls. Without any EU regulatory safeguards.

Turkey : Storm in an earl grey tea cup...
www.cer.org.uk/insights/storm-turkish-tea-cup 

No fees no commission 
Fanciful. We can now create our own trading zone and include other euro sceptic countries. A new Europe under British leadership?! It's Tony Benn's idea that Labour hasn't used yet. We'll be arrogant to think it'll all unfold and topple like dominoes...cos Junker is real PO at the moment. Boris will have to work his charm with his tail between his legs, whilst Putin can't stop laughing.

The National pysche : orange is the new black - it's exactly like the Hueys 
Brexit biscuits wearing their black thursday jumpers. Because we like to think we are superior to most people and we like to tell other people what to do. (A bit like the EU) We will now have a referendum on getting rid of an undemocratic and unelected House of Lords?! haha lol

Zippy or Bungle? Shame and shambles all rolled into one...day.
We all knew Boris was a Europhile really. That's why he looked so glum..I mean happy at the press conference?! Good luck invoking - delaying Article 50. Next in line to fall on his Toledo sword. No need for businesses to plummet into a self inflicted double dip recession. But lets not talk the economy down...we wouldn't want to do anything reckless. Unlike the political parties.

Marriage..has to be said like Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean
Darn couldn't we have just got a Marriage Guidance Councilor in and sort out this notion before we jumped ship? Lets hope the divorce is amicable and conciliatory for all our sakes. But you know who gets custody the kids? I want the power tools and the vinyl player. We are split down the middle - who wants what who shares whom? Do we want a new relationship..? Someone has to make that change. And have lots of kids that are up for equality, peace, justice, the common good and are able to love mankind.

The FOUR FREEDOMS of the EU...hello goodbye hello to the same thing !?
THE FREE MOVEMENT OF GOODS
THE FREE MOVEMENT OF SERVICES
THE FREE MOVEMENT OF CITIZENS
THE FREE MOVEMENT OF CAPITAL


Monday, 20 June 2016